Monday, September 19, 2011

Stop me if you've heard this one...

You are sitting somewhere waiting for something (as is usually how we seem to spend most of our time) and the children are out of control and causing an uproar (which, although we deny it, is how they usually seem to spend most of their time).  The usual tricks to wrangle and occupy them have failed, and at your wits end, you have an idea: "Knock knock" you say.  They look at you.  "What?"  "I say 'knock knock', you say 'who's there'.  Knock knock."  "Who's there" "Dwayne" "Who's Dwayne?" "No, you say 'Dwayne who'"  "Oh, Dwayne who" "Dwayne the bathtub, I'm drowning!"  Pause.  Crickets chirping.  They wait for more, but suddenly, the blonde gets it.  Her eyes widen, gasp, laughing hysterically, like Fran Drescher out of breath laughing.  Yes!  Score mom!  The brunette sees the blonde laughing, and whether or not she got the joke, she too lets out uproarious laughter, albeit a little forced, but laughing nonetheless.  The baby sees the two sisters and not wanting to be left out of a good laugh, joins in, looking at them, looking at me, looking back at them to make sure we're all still laughing, and we are.  "Tell us another one!"  And so you dish out the regular basic knock knocks - "orange you glad I din't say banana" and the like.  A smashing success!  The children are gathered around you listening attentively, you are the coolest and funniest person EVER, and even if they are laughing a little obnoxiously by now, they are keeping their hands to themselves - bonus.   But now, a turn.  You have run out of knock knock jokes, and they want more, so you take the next step in child entertainment, which is to teach the craft so they can entertain themselves.  The blonde understands the format, and does an excellent funny voice for the Dwayne joke, and even takes some creative liberties.  "Knock knock" "Who's there" "Chair" "Chair who" "Chair you're sitting in a chair!"  Followed by peals of laughter from all the sisters, particularly the joke teller herself.  Hmm, not quite...well, whatever, she thinks it's funny.  Even better, the brunette takes a stab, "Knock knock" "Who's there" "I'm drowning!" Hysterical laughter.  Ok, maybe this one needs to be corrected, or at least not told in public.  They love knock knock jokes so much that they tell them to their grandparents on the phone, and one even mails them a knock knock joke book, from which you will read each and very one, and hear them misquoted over and over, to the delight of all of the girls.  The baby even knows when to start laughing, and goes so far as to squat down while the joke is being told so she can jump up at the punchline laughing.  And now, even though their technique is questionable, and the constant stream of "knock knock" occasionally seems annoying, the effect is just what that of a good knock knock joke should be - a bunch of laughing little kids.

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